So I have been pretty paranoid lately about my pregnancy. Two good friends who were due close to me miscarried just before 12 weeks. I'm 21 weeks now so I should feel safer, but I don't really. I have a relative and another friend who have lots their babies late in their pregnancies and have had to deliver stillborns. That is haunting me.
I know, I know, I shouldn't be worrying or whatever, but I can't get over it. Ever we decided on a name, which is Cora by the way, we have been talking about her and the boys (mostly Ryan) prays for her all the time. I already love her and want her to be a part of our family but I just keep worrying that she's going to be taken away from me.
This morning, though, I received a tender mercy from my Father in Heaven. I have been feeling her move for a few weeks, but not all day. Yesterday I felt her around 4pm and so when I woke up this morning I waited and couldn't feel anything. I started to panic a little. I tried to do my regular stuff, breakfast, dishes, start laundry, straighten up, then sit down and check my email. So by then, a few hours after I woke up, I sat her waiting and praying that I would feel Cora move.
I have a doctors appointment this afternoon so I started thinking of senarios of finding out she was gone or what I would do without Silas with me (since he's watching the boys) and how I wouldn't want to talk to anyone, etc.
Finally I laid on my bed, on my tummy and prayed, begging Heavenly Father for me to feel Cora more and almost immediately, there was a small kick.
I cried and said "Thank you" out loud a few times. I have a testimony that the Lord knows us all individually, but this reminded me that no matter how maybe children He has, He knows me. He knew that I needed to know my baby was OK and my prayer was answered.
I am so thankful for my blessings.
6 comments:
Robyn,
I can completely relate to your experience with Cora (I love her name!). I have been through similar and agree with you that the Lord is merciful.
I am so glad all is well.
Love to you :)
I TOTALLY worried like that with both Cam & Wynnie - nice to know I wasn't the only one!!
I get randomly paranoid with everything mom-related. I'm a really non-paranoid person, but a fairly paranoid mom, which is very strange because I feel like it goes against my nature and I have this internal struggle!
Anyway, I had a super paranoid moment when I was like 19 weeks or something and I convinced myself that I really needed reassurance so I ended up going in to the doctor and having them listen to the heart tones. They were so nice about it, and everything was fine...but sometimes when you start worrying, then you start thinking maybe it's mother's intuition or the spirit warning you or something...
Anyway, I'm so glad you felt her again and that everything's okay. :)
I love that name! I am so glad that she is ok and that you are feeling better about everything. Take it easy and I hope we can see you guys sometime soon.
Thanks for making me cry Robyn! I don't know if you know or not, I lost a little boy before I had Tommy, at 26 weeks. I LOVE that name though! And am SO excited for you to have a little girl in your family!
I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me with all my kids. Every time I prayed, I would feel the baby almost immediately. Jarom was an especially calm baby, so I often couldn't feel him as often as you're supposed to. It's so hard not to worry when you can't see or control what's going on inside. You are in good company! I have my first appointment today, and I'm worried that there won't be a heartbeat - I think it just comes with the experience of being pregnant - especially with those hormones raging!
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