Cora's first day of school!

Thursday, August 25th-

Cora's first day of Kindergarten

Today my big girl CORA is going to school. The last few days I have been a little emotional about it...more than I have with any of my kids. But today I was OK. She is so ready and I am excited for her to learn to things and have fun with friends at a great school!

Silas came home for lunch in time to go with me to take her to school. Molly was super tired so it was nice that he could hold her while I helped Cora, as well as a couple other kids, find their spots in the classroom. Cora said bye at the door and would have been fine without us. I'm glad she is confident.

First day!

Waiting at the school, super tired

So ready for school!

Silas took Molly out for lunch which was super nice of him because I was meeting some friends for lunch and didn't want to have to worry about her. She can be super crazy. Turns out, she was super crazy for Silas. Poor guy. He brought her to me before heading to work and luckily she fell asleep on my way home

Lunch date!

Finally sleeping after lunch

I got home just a couple minutes after Cleod. It is the first time he has gotten home with no one here so I was feeling a little mommy-guilt. I got a text just before I got him and expected it to be a "Where are you?" message. Nope. He asked, "Can I make muddy buddies?" HAHAHA! He cracks me up. Once I got home and asked him if he was worried he said that he was curious about where I was but not worried. I think he likes to be home alone.

Cora had a great day! She was her bubbly, happy self when I picked her up. I have been a little worried about her getting bored and maybe getting into trouble at school but I  think she's going to do great!

Running to me! Yea!

Aug 23 & 24

Tuesday, August 23rd-

Some bakes s'mores I made today. They were
yummy but super messy!

I feel like today was the beginning of the end. Not in a doomsday kind of way, just another big change.

Thursday Cora starts school. Tomorrow is Wednesday which is a crazy day with late start, early out and paper route so this afternoon was the last afternoon with THE GIRLS. Kinda sad. So, we are some junk food, watched an episode of Random Acts and an episode of Studio C and then went on a walk.

She is so excited and I'm excited for her, but I'm also feeling sad and lonely for her.


Wednesday, August 24th-

Wednesday, Wednesday, what do I do with you?! I should just have NO EXPECTATIONS for Wednesdays and then it would be fine. If my favorite class at the gym wasn't on Wednesdays it would be the worst day ever.

Today was fine really, just hectic. I tried to enjoy the home time we had, the girls and I. I had a friend over to visit and the girls and I had made brownie cookies for her. Paper route was smoothe and then the big boys both had scouts. It was Ryan's first day as a Webelo which he was SUPER excited about. And Cleod got to walk around with the boys getting donations for scouts which he really enjoyed.

I forgot to send Silas with the family photo collage I ordered for him to put in his office at church! We had pictures taken a while ago and I just got around to ordering prints. I'm really excited to get some of the photos up on the walls at home!

Aug 21 & 22

Sunday, August 21st-

Tonight Silas and I went to the Stake Seminary Devotional where they talk to the kids about how important seminary is and introduce the reading schedule for the school year. I read with the youth 2 years ago when they were reading the D&C. Last year was Old Testament and I only made it about half way. This year is New Testament and I am committing to read along.

The fireside really made me desire that Cleod was in seminary already. Middle school seems like such a crucial transition point and I wish he had some extra goodness. I will just have to do better at home.

One of the things we need to work on is our Sundays. We don't wake up Grandma in the mornings on Sundays now and today was the first time we've been home since doing that, so it was a weird morning and I let them watch Veggietales for a while. We need to watch less on Sundays, even if it is considered “Sunday movies.”

Monday, August 22nd-

We love music at our house!!! It's in our blood!

This year Cleod was going to be playing percussion, but as summer band went on he seemed uninterested. So when school started and he came home telling me about how the band teacher taught them about the balance of a band I was ready to be OK with him switching to a different instrument. He chose the bass clarinet! He is super excited about it and I am too. Luckily, the school rents out instruments at reasonable prices! The only bad thing is that it is HEAVY and he has to haul it back and forth every day.

Cleod is still doing piano lessons and we will need to look for another teacher soon because he is more advanced than Peggy usually teaches.

Ryan is taking guitar lessons and doing awesome. We need to get him a new guitar badly! He is also waiting patiently to start piano lessons. ALSO, he will be doing violin in orchestra at the elementary school as well as choir there. Singing is his favorite.

Grant is going to join choir again, which he loved last year, and he REALLY wants to learn the violin. I am going to try to show him some things on the weekends and see if that satisfies him.

Cora thinks she is awesome on the piano because she plucks out melodies. Molly tries to play too, although she is more of a singer. She sings as she plays all the time.

Silas wishes he had a good set of bagpipes so that he could play them. Someday! And sometimes he sits at the piano and plays a tune that just came to him one day when he was sick. It is beautiful!

Why I love funerals...

Sunday, August 21st-

After the funeral yesterday, I was thinking about how much I have learned from the last few funerals I've attended and I realized...I love funerals!

I must insert here that I have never had a parent, spouse or child die. I don't imagine those funerals will be my favorite times...although I have seem people receive real comfort from gathering with family and talking about their loved one.

I HAVE had a brother die. Nine years ago my brother, Ryan, passed away after many years of being bed-ridden due to Multiple Sclerosis. The last few weeks were pretty hard and we knew he was close. In fact, our family was in town when he passed away, including all of my siblings. His death was not unexpected or traumatic. It was still hard and sad, but it was good too.

Also, all of my grandparents have passed away, but again none of their deaths were unexpected or sudden. So I may have a little different perspective that others, but overall I think that funerals can provide us with blessings and learning we don't receive as readily otherwise.

I love funerals because...

• funerals gather family and friends. Relationships are what life is all about and as we "mourn with those who mourn" we help and strengthen one another at the most vulnerable of times. 
• funerals help us redefine our relationship with God. As we think about the life that has left the Earth, we can't help but think of what is next for that person and what we believe. For me, being at a funeral and having these thoughts always strengthens my faith that the Lord has a bigger plan than we see from our mortal eyes.
• funerals cause me to evaluate my behavior. As I sit and listen to stories of the life of the individual who has passed, I sometimes wonder what someone will say about me someday. Will they remember the good things I did or will they have a hard time thinking of nice things to say about me? Will they joke around about how crazy I was about sorting laundry and filling the dishwasher or will they remember me reading stories and singing songs in the van at the top of our lungs? Funerals are always an introspective time for me. A time when I regroup and try to make goals to change so that I can be the person I really want to be.
• funerals are a wonderful opportunity to hear good music. Some of the most beautiful things I have ever heard in my life have been from musical numbers at funerals. I believe music touches our souls in a different, often more powerful way, than the spoken or written word. Music brushes away some of the dusty worldliness off my soul and seals the cracks in my broken spirit. Funeral musical numbers are balm for the grieving soul. 
• funerals provide a chance for the living to learn of the excellence of human nature. Although we do get a joke or two about some of the more negative aspects of the decreased we mostly learn of the amazing things the individual did throughout their life. Sometimes it is something as simple as, "she never said, 'I can't'" or something as amazing as someone writing missionaries from their ward every month. We learn the quiet, charitable things that are not well known while they are living. We also see the kindness that comes from others as they serve the grieving family. In a messy world that seems to be falling more and more wicked, we see that there IS GOOD in the world and I believe that is because we have a loving Heavenly Father who sends His Spirit to "comfort those who stand in need of comfort."

Aug 19 & 20

Friday, August 19th

I love Fridays! They are always more relaxing for me than any other day. Today was especially great because I got to go to Yoga, which I haven't been to much in the last few months. I LOVE YOGA! It gives me a good stretch after a long week and it honestly helps me to focus and feel more positive.

Today I stayed and babysat in the daycare for a while for Brittany, which the girls were super happy about since they usually just get dropped off. (They love that too though.)

Then we met up with Silas for lunch at DQ. After a long trip we should be more frugal but we also don't have a ton of food in the house and just like getting out together.

What do you do when the firemen show up?
Read a book of course!

We had some excitement in the neighborhood this afternoon when a fire started in the abandoned lot next to us. Once we realized that it wasn't super serious, many of us enjoyed watching and waiting for the fire department.

Tonight Cleod went to Skyler's, had dinner with them and then went to watch a movie at the middle school. He seems pretty excited to have some different opportunities now that he's in a different school. I think he also enjoys being the only one at his school from the family. I am happy that he feels special and has some things that make him happy.


Saturday, August 20th-

Ties I bought for Silas while we were
shopping in Salt Lake

This morning my mom and I woke up super early and drove to Kearns, UT for the funeral of Gwen Jensen, Aunt Anne's mom. Uncle Glenn and Aunt Anne have always been good at getting to weddings and reunions and we wanted to show our love for Glenn and Anne and their families. Darin and Nicolle met us there too. Afterward, the four of us went to Red Robin for lunch and walked around the mall.

While we were gone, Silas got my whole honey-do list done, including showering all the kids, chores, instruments, and some extra chores. He also got the kids chicken nuggets at McDonald's and ate at Canyon Park where they played in the water and had a great time.

Mom and I got into Cedar in the evening in time to help get the kids to bed and visit for a few minutes.

At Red Robin

Silas with kids at Canyon Park

Aug 17 & 18

Wednesday, August 17th-

Kindergarten assessment!!!

• Gym
• Pick up papers and delivered stacks to Cobble Creek friends 
• Cora rolled almost all the papers while I was delivering the stacks. She even figured out a way to do it really quickly. She is so smart!
• Cora's Kindergarten assessment was after school. She was SO excited to go talk to Mrs. Werber. She passed of everything on the assessment except writing her 7 because it was backwards.
• Ryan earned his Bear Badge at Pack Meeting tonight!

Launching water balloons
(edit by Cleod)



Cleod's pack meeting selfie



Snow cones at Pack Meeting



More water balloon launching

Thursday, August 18th-

This week has been so great for me in getting back into my normal gym routine. I go to the 9am classes every day except Tuesdays when I got to the 5:45am class. One of the reasons that it is so good for me is that about once a week I get into some profound conversation with one of the girls. Lots of the time it's with Amie and sometimes others. A few weeks ago Amie, Heather and I had a powerful talk. Today was another one of those days and this time it was for me and it was a tender mercy.

Amie said something and I thought she was talking to me but she was talking to herself. I made a comment that I don't talk to myself and that lead to a conversation about how lots of (many most) women negatively talk to themselves. I've been reading about shame and the book references self-talk. I have been feeling weird about it because most women do it. That doesn't mean it's good, but it is "normal" and I don't do it. There are also some aspects of shame that I don't exhibit and I have been feeling weird about those too...like I'm not normal because I don't have those feelings. When a big group was talking, a cute girl named Bree said that my not talking to myself was a tender mercy. When only Daneene, Amie and I were talking and I was expressing more cleanly the worries I have had about not being normal because of this, Amie said that it was a gift from God. I told her what Bree said and she agreed. I couldn't really wrap my head around it.

When we got home, I walked into the kitchen to fill up my water. The girls were in the other room and it was quiet. Right there at my sink it was clear. The Lord blessed me so I would not "talk to myself" which doesn't mean I don't have thoughts or think of ways I want to be better. I just don't put myself down in my head. I don't really praise myself either. I just have thoughts of tasks and to-dos. That in itself can be overwhelming and I was overcome with the following: God gave me this gift because if I had negative self-talk on top of the other struggles I have, I would not be OK. He removed that trial from me so that I could work through other trials. Just last night I was telling Silas about how I pray and pray for the Spirit to guide me and sometimes I feel like I'm getting no guidance. This morning I realized that the Lord doesn't always give me the guidance I expect but HE IS THERE! He does give us things that we need. I am so grateful for that. I'm grateful for good friends who build me up physically and spiritually. I'm grateful for the knowledge I have of a loving God who knows me and what I need and gave me this gift before I needed it. I'm grateful for the blessing of individual revelation! The Heavens are open for us, we just have to keep asking and keep struggling to choose the right, even if we don't think we are getting the answers.

This revelation was a great start to a day that went well. I was able to just stay home the rest of the day and get some needed housework done. I worked a lot on this blog as well as organizing the closet in the playroom. Since no one sleeps in there right now, it is a catch all and has all kinds of random stuff in it. I also did a couple loads of laundry, although I pretty much do laundry every day so that's normal.

The girls played so well together and I am a little sad that we only have a week until Cora starts school. Hopefully Molly will transition OK.

Yummiest hot cocoa

We decided to let the boys walk themselves to and from school this year and already it makes life so much easier for me and the girls. The schools are both about a quarter mile away, the middle school is even closer, so it isn't far. Ryan and Grant have been really nice to each other and have enjoyed this time. I think Cleod likes being treated like a big kid. I know he likes coming home an hour before the boys to just hang out with me and the girls.

Today Silas came home early to take me out on a date. We haven't been out together for weeks because of reunion and Washington. It was so nice to just sit together. We talked a little but mostly just sat there together. Just being together.

Aug 15 & 16 (First day of school!)

Monday, August 15th-

Recap:

• Kids slept in until after 10am
• Haircuts for all the kids! (by me!!)
• Kids played outside with neighbors and inside with Gabriel, who was happy for them to be back.
• Back to School night at middle school with Cleod made me super excited for him and made him more nervous.
• Went shopping by myself after dinner which was good because Wal-Mart was totally chaotic. The kids and Silas watched a movie together while I was gone.
• Once I got home, Silas for called to give someone a blessing. The kids and I got their backpacks and supplies ready and started scripture time.

Silas gave all of us a Father's blessings. Here are some notes I took:

Cora:

• about to embark on a new chapter in life where education becomes more important
• bless you with a sharp mind to be able to learn new things and apply them
• through your joy, help to instill in others a desire to learn
• learning should be fun at your age
• be kind
• bless you that your love for learning will go with you throughout your life
• be a good example
• remember your Savior...when you do your thoughts will be turned to do good
• recognize things that are good and not good
• ability to teach your children when you are a mother
• bless you with strength and patience
• when you feel like running when you need to walk- go slow-ponder
• when you are baptized you will recieve the gift of the Holy Ghost who will help you if you ponder
• feel the love of your parents and siblings and the love of your Heavenly Father
• others may feel His love through your actions

Grant:

• patience with yourself, recognize that there is not a need to do things perfectly byt to do your best
• your have been blessed with many talents, now is a time to start finding them...see them as you interact with others
• bless your mind that it will be sharp
• you have a gift of learning differently than some...through your hands and through application
• your are blessed with brothers-ask them for help- it is a bond that can never be broken- you will cherish it through the eternities
• always stand up for the right
• you are blessed with goodly parnest and ancestors who have sacrificed much and given all
• be a comfort to your teachers- smile for them- a loveing smile from a small boy will give them peace
• love your mother, help her and you will continue to bring peace to our home
• you are loved by your Savior- he has died for you

Ryan:

• this blessing is unique for you
• recognize the voice of the Lord that you might know that He speaks to you
• read the scriptures, Ryan
• ponder and pray
• The Holy Ghost will lead you to do that which is right
• bless you with strength to overcome trials- to control your physical body and help when you are angry
• there is opposition- life isn't supposed to be happy all the time
• you will overcome these things because He atoned for you- He knows sickness, loneliness
• look to Him- allow Him to give you a vision of eternity- with Him nothing is impossible
• you can do brilliant things
• enjoy this school year- listen carefully- treat your teachers and the students with kindness
• you are the big boy at school- be a role model, you have many friends who love to be with you
• you have joy- use it
• Satan desires to have you- run away from him!
• we love you- the Lord loves you
• you are eternal because you are His- remember Him- bring honor to his name
• honor your covenants- mourn with those who mourn

Cleod:

• we are grateful for you
• the Lord is grateful for you
• bless your body, that you can be in control
• you have talens in music- learning and understanding
• books are easy for your to understand- this is a blessing from the Lord
• those who are blessed with wisdom should teach
• you will one day be a great teacher
• learn to teach in the Savior's way- with loving and long-suffering, gentleness, kindness, etc
• listen to the Holy Ghost- still small voice
• surround yourself with light- people who want to do goo and you will feel the Spirit
• read the scriptures- learn the patterns taught by the prophets- learn to teach like them- this is the way you will teach
• learn duties of a Deacon in the Aaronic Priesthood
• speak kindly to one another
• encourage others to keep their covenants
• you will walk the aisles of the chapel with the symbols of the Savior
• the Priesthood is not a selfish thing- it is used to serve others
• watch men that use that power
• it will be a joy as you learn to love the Gospel
• you will have struggles this year- temptations and changes- the Gospel brings peace
• at times you may have no answers- be patient with the Lord
• feel loved- we love you- we are so grateful for you- don't question that love
• see out things that will bring you eternal happiness
• keep your life clean- so that someday a young woman will want to go to the temple with you
• struggle to be good- it's OK to struggle- everyone struggles
• treasure up knowledge

Molly:

• your siblings are going to school- you may feel lonely- you may wonder where everyone is
• the Lord will bless you with the ability to occupy yourself
• be a light- make your mother and others laugh
• bless you with the ability to acr and do those things that bring you happiness

Silas also gave me a blessing. It was very beautiful and told me that I had the tools to do what I need to do. I can't really remember any other specifics but I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of me and who has faith in me.

After the blessings, Silas asked me to say family prayer and I was overcome with peace and gratitude for the Restored Gospel and that the Priesthood is available to us today. I am so grateful that Silas serves us by using his Priesthood honorably.

Tuesday, August 16th-

First day of school!! I feel like I should be freaking out more but I'm not at all.

Cleod's first day of middle school!

The boys woke up at 6am and were ready super fast. Haha. I think they will sleep a little longer tomorrow. Cleod and I walked to the middle school together but he was anxious to get in there and I wasn't worried about saying bye to him from the sidewalk instead of walking him in. Back to School night helped a lot!

Middle SCHOOL!!!!

Grant and Ryan, ready to go

Ryan and Grant were also ready for school. In fact, I was chatting with a mom on the way in the elementary school and they totally ditched me and the girls and went into the school without us. Haha. But we went to their classrooms to see them and say hi to their teachers. There were lots of happy kids at the school today!

Grant in his classroom

The girls and I made our way to Grandma Warby's house to get her up today. We were there for longer than normal, but I'm still reading the Brene Brown book that Amber let me borrow and the girls were playing so we were fine.

Just me and my girlies

We did our lunch with the Warby girls today instead of Thursday and it was my turn. I made broccoli soup and they brought rolls and fruit and dessert. We had a good time and it was a lot quieter without the big kids. We also had to end earlier than we have before because Deruchette and I have middle schoolers who get out of school at 2:30pm!

Cleod after school- back to the books, literally