After the funeral yesterday, I was thinking about how much I have learned from the last few funerals I've attended and I realized...I love funerals!
I must insert here that I have never had a parent, spouse or child die. I don't imagine those funerals will be my favorite times...although I have seem people receive real comfort from gathering with family and talking about their loved one.
I HAVE had a brother die. Nine years ago my brother, Ryan, passed away after many years of being bed-ridden due to Multiple Sclerosis. The last few weeks were pretty hard and we knew he was close. In fact, our family was in town when he passed away, including all of my siblings. His death was not unexpected or traumatic. It was still hard and sad, but it was good too.
Also, all of my grandparents have passed away, but again none of their deaths were unexpected or sudden. So I may have a little different perspective that others, but overall I think that funerals can provide us with blessings and learning we don't receive as readily otherwise.
I love funerals because...
- funerals gather family and friends. Relationships are what life is all about and as we "mourn with those who mourn" we help and strengthen one another at the most vulnerable of times.
- funerals help us redefine our relationship with God. As we think about the life that has left the Earth, we can't help but think of what is next for that person and what we believe. For me, being at a funeral and having these thoughts always strengthens my faith that the Lord has a bigger plan than we see from our mortal eyes.
- funerals cause me to evaluate my behavior. As I sit and listen to stories of the life of the individual who has passed, I sometimes wonder what someone will say about me someday. Will they remember the good things I did or will they have a hard time thinking of nice things to say about me? Will they joke around about how crazy I was about sorting laundry and filling the dishwasher or will they remember me reading stories and singing songs in the van at the top of our lungs? Funerals are always an introspective time for me. A time when I regroup and try to make goals to change so that I can be the person I really want to be.
- funerals are a wonderful opportunity to hear good music. Some of the most beautiful things I have ever heard in my life have been from musical numbers at funerals. I believe music touches our souls in a different, often more powerful way, than the spoken or written word. Music brushes away some of the dusty worldliness off my soul and seals the cracks in my broken spirit. Funeral musical numbers are balm for the grieving soul.
- funerals provide a chance for the living to learn of the excellence of human nature. Although we do get a joke or two about some of the more negative aspects of the decreased we mostly learn of the amazing things the individual did throughout their life. Sometimes it is something as simple as, "she never said, 'I can't'" or something as amazing as someone writing missionaries from their ward every month. We learn the quiet, charitable things that are not well known while they are living. We also see the kindness that comes from others as they serve the grieving family. In a messy world that seems to be falling more and more wicked, we see that there IS GOOD in the world and I believe that is because we have a loving Heavenly Father who sends His Spirit to "comfort those who stand in need of comfort."
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