April 23 & 24

Saturday, April 23rd-

Tired daddy with his girl

This morning started out with the funeral of our ward member, Carol Broadwell. It was a lovely service. All the talks were thoughtful and moving. Silas conducted the meeting very well and gave a good talk as well. He has been SO worried about this and he really did such a great job. One thing that I learned from the talks today was that I need to act on my promptings or desires to help others. I came home after the funeral but Silas went to the graveside and back to the church afterward for a little while so he didn't get home until afternoon. Once he was home and changed, he fell asleep with Molly for a LONG time.

The other kids spent most of the day outside. James Redhouse has been making Light Sabers out of PVC pipe and today there were enough Light Sabers for everyone. Then playing morphed into watch The Force Awakens in the Redhouse's garage. Haha. The kids thought it was the best thing ever. Ryan says that James is "very kid friendly." I am grateful our kids are growing up in a good neighborhood.


Watching Star Wars in the garage

Cora and Molly being silly today

Sunday, April 24th-

Today I officially made the decision to ask to be released from my calling in Young Women's. I've been thinking about it almost the whole month but didn't want to admit that I couldn't handle everything. With the extra stress of Cora's illness, the time and energy that I should have been putting into my calling was creating unnecessary feelings of burden on my shoulders which affects the way I interact with the kids. I realize now that I need to scale back and that I need to more fully embrace my callings of Wife and Mother.

So I went to the Saylor's this morning and chatted with Mary about being released. She was going to talk to me about it soon so it wasn't a surprise and she agreed with me. I had talked to Silas about it a week or so ago so hopefully they will be able to replace me soon.

Big girl

Cleod and Molly seem to be affected the most by Silas's calling. Cleod's pre-teen argumentative nature has become almost unbearable for me at times. I take his attitude toward me way too personally and I need to work on that and show him that I love him even when he's being dumb.

Poor Molly cries nearly every time Silas or I leave the house. She is growing so fast and wants to be so independent but she also has moments where she wants to be held or fed like a baby. I don't know if this is normal for a last child because I've never had a child that is almost 3 without having another baby, but I am wondering if it is partially because of the time Silas is away from us and that I am not making up for that lost time. Since Silas is gone more I feel like I have more to do so I am doing housework or whatever needs to be done and not spending really quality time with the kids in the evenings. This is another thing I need to work on.

Bye bye little potty!

April 21 & 22

Thursday, April 21st-

Still feeling awful. Grant is too. Realized super late tonight that I was supposed to be doing preschool here tomorrow. Had to cancel last minute. I hate being unreliable. This winter/spring has been hard for us.



Delicious dessert pizza

The last couple of weeks I have been trying to be really careful about spending money on extra stuff but tonight I splurged and bought Pizza Cart. Even though I wanted to get it anyway, I had a good excuse that made me feel a little better about it. Silas found out this afternoon that he got a "cell phone reimbursement" added to his pay so he will get $20 more a paycheck. It's not a ton of money but with the way I have been penny-pinching it is going to be so nice for us.

I also have been trying to be strict again with my eating but blew that one with the delicious Nutella Raspberry Dessert from Pizza Cart that my kids said they would eat but barely did. Silas doesn't like it either...I should have taken some to a neighbor or something...but I ate it...

This evening Silas pointed out that Cora's face was a little chubbier than normal. I hadn't really realized it and decided to try to get a photo of it. Obviously, the photo shoot wasn't really successful but it got the job done. It is a little more round than it was 2 weeks ago. I am not worried about it but curious to see how long it will take to go back to normal. (She's taking steroids until Saturday.)

Cora's chubby face

Friday, April 22nd-

Thank goodness for Fridays.

Grant went to school for a couple hours but his throat started hurting so I picked him up. Both of us have had waves of energy and then we crash. He seems close to being over it and mostly has hard mornings and nights. I can't get out of bed at my normal time, crash once or twice in the middle of the day and then feel exhausted at night. Today I got some organizing done that I could do mostly sitting so I feel a little more accomplished. I am also getting a lot more reading done the last few days that I have recently, which is nice.

After school we played at the park for a few minutes. It felt good for the girls, Grant and I to be outside for a few minutes. Molly was crazy and wrestled Cleod to the ground. She cracks me up...and Cleod is such a good sport with her!


Ready to go camping!

Today we had a couple of firsts. Tonight Cleod is at his first overnight campout without his dad. That's big. I should be nervous but I'm not. He's going to have so much fun.

The other first was the beginnings of helping with the first funeral since Silas has been Bishop. We met some of the family tonight at the church building to let them in so they could put some pictures out. Silas and I had gone out for a quick date because even though I was feeling yucky I really wanted to get out of the house. Then Silas was contacted about getting into the church so we headed over there. Silas and I ended up cleaned the Chapel and helped the Relief Society President get a few things ready for the luncheon tomorrow. We've helped with things like this before but it feels very different this time. And even though I wasn't feeling great, it felt good to serve.

April 19 & 20

Tuesday, April 19th-

Started our morning at Grandma Warby's. While we were feeding her breakfast we got the news from Silas that a member of our ward, Carol, had passed away during the night. It wasn't a surprise because she has been very sick. Silas will be conducting his first funeral on Saturday which will be a new experience. He met with the son and the funeral home this afternoon and I think they have a plan so he isn't as nervous as he was. Also, he has some notes and a service outline from my dad. He has great support at work. One of the main guys there just got called to be an Area Seventy for our church and expressed to Silas that they love having good people work for them and that if he needs to leave for church things he didn't need to worry about it. And today he talked to LaNor Warby (who also works with him and was a Bishop a while back in the 9th ward) who gave him some good insights on funerals and also on the fact that Silas has the Priesthood keys that he needs to handle this situation. That helped Silas's confidence a lot.



Day 11
Almost healed!
(4-20-16)

Cora had her follow-up appointment today with Dr. Adams. Everyone was really happy to see the progress and how great her legs are looking. They took out the stitch and put a steri-strip on the biopsy sight. The biopsy came back saying vasculitis, which is inflammation in the blood vessels which we knew was happening. So at least we know we were on the right track. They are still fairly certain it is HSP and are hopeful that it is a one time deal.

We decided to run the exact same tests as last week to insure that her numbers all are back to normal. Hopefully I will hear back about that in a few days. Cora was HILARIOUS at the hospital. She was singing while getting her blood drawn, chant-singing about how they were taking her blood. She is just so positive and happy. I wish I could be just like that.


My happy girl, just after getting lab work done



Me and my crazy girls

It was lunch time when we were done at the hospital so I let Cora choose where she wanted to go for lunch. We have been trying not to go out as much but with all the poking she's endured the last week and a half I decided it was time for a treat.

She chose Dairy Queen so the three of us shared some lunch and got ice cream. Molly was super whiney while we were waiting but once she got some food in her, she was back to normal. I need to remember to pack snacks so she doesn't get like that when we need to be gone from home.


Excited for lunch

Today was a beautiful day and the neighbor was out enjoying it. Grant got a kite at school today and even though it didn't have all the correct pieces that it needed, he got it flying and was super happy about it. I was worn out and still feeling a little yucky so I enjoyed the sun from a camp chair at the end of the driveway while the kids played and played.

Lots of fun with the neighbors in the empty back lot

Grant flew a kite

Wednesday, April 20th-




Eating popcorn at Bulloch Drug

The cold/sore throat thing I've been ignoring since Friday night couldn't be ignored anymore. Grant is also feeling yucky. We got into the doctor right away this morning. Grant's isn't bad and might not be an infection yet but I have a sinus infection. I had 2 naps today and Molly had 2 accidents because I was not really paying attention to her. Poor girl. Each time she would just go change into dry clothes. She is being super independent.

When we got home from the doctor and pharmacies, we found that someone had decorated our front door and left a note for Cora. Cora was super excited about it and I felt really loved. Silas and I have had a lot stress this week and this small act showing that someone cares gave me a little boost. I hate being sick and not doing my normal thing or being able to help other people because we have germs we don't want to spread.

Cora and her decorated door

Amber came to the rescue this evening and took could to and from scouts as well as picking up the agenda and some other papers that I had for the presidency meeting that I was going to miss again. The evening was a little stressful and although I don't regret that Silas was at the church doing his calling, I missed having him home to help at night. I was trying to rest while the boys were showering and went upstairs to the girls coloring on their door. It came right off when I finally gave Cora a Lysol wipe to clean it off, but it still gave me feelings of overwhelmth (that's a word I made up).

Grant working on fluency

While the girls were bathing, I helped Grant with some reading. I love working on his fluency reading with him every day. It's our time to sit down together, even if it's for 5 minutes.

Once everyone was bathed and showered we had a few minutes to read before scriptures and prayer. In theory, we try to be together in the living room for 20 or 30 minutes before family scripture time so that the kids can have some calm before bed and get some reading time in for the day. I love when this actually happens. It helps bedtime to go so much more smoothly. Tonight Molly fell asleep next to Ryan and I on the couch.

Ryan reading and Molly sleeping

April 17 & 18

Sunday, April 17th-

This morning the boys and I are feeling yucky. Cleod was up sick in the night and threw up once. The other boys have complained about their tummies. I spent most of the day doing family history. I haven't worked on anything for a while. In fact, I was kind of avoiding it because I have so much to do on the people I have found that it sometimes seems impossibly overwhelming. I also know how hard it is for me to get off the computer once I'm in the groove of finding people. Today I made some good progress done on a name that one of my brothers sent me so that felt good.

I also got on and caught up on the last few days of blogging and found a couple of cute pictures I hadn't added yet.

Grant's homework earlier this week
"Chairs, blanket, and the park" are 3 good places to hide. :)

The picture of Cora and I was sent to me earlier this week by my dad when we were all worried about Cora. It was so sweet of him. He and Cora have a special connection. I am so glad she is doing well.


From Rowley Reunion 2015

Photo and editing by Cora

Monday, April 18th-

I let the boys stay home from school today. They were feeling better but not great. I figured that they needed another day to rest and get lots of water. So that was the main goal of the day. We rested, read and drank water. They did watch one movie while I had a nap but that's all. By the time Silas got home from work they hyper and running around the house. Although I don't love when they act like that in general, it was nice to see that they were feeling better.

Cora and Molly still are feeling fine tummy-wise and Cora's legs continue to look better. I think they enjoy when they have extra time with their brothers. This morning Cora put on 17 pairs of socks. It was pretty funny and weird. I don't know where kids get stuff like that but it made me smile.

Crazy sock girl!!!

Hot potato

For home evening Cleod taught us about tithing and we even learned a new primary song about tithing. For the activity, Ryan chose to play hot potato. They had WAY too much fun and were super loud and hyper. Then, to get out of the house after being home all day, we headed up to look at the temple site. We love to see the progress. Ryan and Molly always get especially excited.

Silas and Grant went into Lin's on the way home and got Root Beer Float stuff and we headed home to enjoy our treat.

Cedar City Temple, 4-18-16

April 16

Saturday, April 16th-

I woke up this morning feeling kind of awful. I have a sore throat and some stuffed sinuses. I mostly fought through it and tried to get some of our normal Saturday things done.

"Put the last heart on"
Game like pin the tail on the donkey



Pink square says, "I love Molly"

I took the boys to the Main Street Park for a fundraiser for the family of one of the 3rd grade teachers at our school. We got breakfast and some socks and donated some money. It was freezing outside so we didn't stay long.


Molly sitting on the couch

When we got back home, Cora was once again coloring and drawing for Molly. I'm so grateful that Cora loves her sister so much. They are lucky to have each other.

Loving sisters!!

 
Cora's legs are continuing to heal. Silas thinks it's weird that I keep taking pictures of them, but I want to document it. It is weird and scary and it makes me so grateful for medicine and technology.



Day 8
(4-16-16)

April 15



Friday, April 15th-

Today was a good day!

 

Ryan likes to perform more than work. :)

Loving my child labor!

After thinking hard last night of how to help my boys grow to be good men and a talk I had with Silas about boys who aren't ready to do hard work on their missions, I decided to get the boys involved in helping get the back yard weeded. It was cold and wet before school but they had some extra time after getting ready so I sent them out and they filled up 2 garbage bags of weeds.

 

Day 7 (4-15-16)
Healing

Cora's legs haven't swelled any more today and she hasn't complained about any pain today. She hasn't had hives today either. The doctor said to let her do her normal things if she isn't in pain so this morning she went to preschool and had such a great time. In fact, when I picked her up she was roller blading! A silly thing but it made me grateful that she was well enough to do that.

 

Will Cora was at school, Molly watched a movie and I ironed. We normally do other things but with potty training I wanted her in one spot so I could watch her. Fridays are my ironing days now. I haven't ironed much in the past but with Silas's new calling and the dress clothes he where for work now, I had LOTS of ironing. Today it took me an hour. It is not my favorite thing to do but I remind myself that I iron Silas's shirts because I love him and I want him to look his best.

Weekly ironing

 

Potty training is going so well. I could not have asked for it to work out better!







Potty training highlights

• After one full day of training she won't go in the small potty which is great for me because now I can throw it away!
• Since she's been going on the regular toilet she doesn't want me to help her with her clothes or getting on the toilet. When I ask her if she needs help she usually says, “No. I got this.” haha

• 

  Molly is a champ in the bathroom!

  By day 3 (today) she seems annoyed with the timer and potty time so I started waiting longer and finding ways to get her to go, like going after I go.
• Speaking of that, bribing has not worked for her. I have had candy at first when she was peeing in the little potty but if I forgot she didn't care. Cora and I cheered for her and I think she was content with that. We even said that we would have ice cream when she pooped but after she did she wanted to tell people she did it but didn't say anything about the ice cream.
• I don't know where she learned this but sometimes when she flushed she says, “Bye-bye suckers.” It's not the nicest thing but coming out of her mouth in the bathroom is pretty funny.
• She is already going to the bathroom without telling me she has to go. Yea!

Molly had a little crazy moment when the boy's got home from school today. The pictures I got are fuzzy because they were mobbing so much but she was totally wrestling Cleod and Ryan to the ground!



Molly the maniac

Today I was supposed to be going with the kids to Vegas to help Denita's family move and clean, but with Cora's stuff we decided we needed to stay home and be close to the hospital and doctors just in case. Because of this Silas and I didn't have a plan for date night. We decided last minute to try out a new Indian restaurant in town and to bring Molly along so we could take her to the bathroom.

The Indian food wasn't great. We left unsatisfied and ended up going to Brick House Café (one of our favorites) and getting a sandwich to share, sweet potato fries for me and a trip to the salad bar for Silas. Molly wouldn't eat at the other restaurant so we got her some Mac and Cheese at Brick House. She was a hoot during our date. She talked a ton and is always so expressive with her eyes. Silas and I didn't get our normal chat time with crazy girl coming along, but it was really fun to have her with us.


Silly Molly at Brick House

When we got home, Cora was coloring and preparing games for Molly to play tomorrow in commemoration of her being potty trained. She is seriously so thoughtful and kind. She had a blanket around her neck for a shawl and looked super tired.

Cute girl

April 13 & 14

Day 5 (4-13)
Morning

Wednesday, April 13th-

Woke up this morning to hives on Cora's back and the back of her legs. If this was the only thing going on I would have given her some Benadryl and gone about my day normally but because of the other stuff with her legs, I called the dermatologist and we went in to show him. He reassured me that it was a reaction to some virus just like the other stuff was a reaction and although they were happening at the same time they we not because of each other or because of the meds she is on. He told me to give her Claritin and Benadryl and to continue the steroids as planned.

We stayed home from the gym and the library so that we could continue to potty train Molly and so Cora could just rest. Molly had 5 or 6 accidents in the morning but by the time the boys got home from school she was starting get the hang of it.

Day 5
Afternoon

Around 4pm I noticed a few different rashes that started popping up on Cora's legs. This made me panic a little. I called the dermatologist's office and asked for them to let the doctor know. He called me back less than a minute later and I explained to him what I was seeing. I think he could tell that I was freaking out a little bit. He told me to go into the office so I called Silas to come home and left with Cora.

Dr. Adams ended up taking a sample of skin for a biopsy, which made it necessary for Cora to receive a stitch in her leg. The numbing shot hurt and she cried but she watched as he stitched her and was so brave. The doctor upped her steroid dose and said to continue with the anti-histamine meds.



Four different possible diagnoses

Chewing on gum, waiting to get
 blood drawn (although
she didn't know it yet)

Then we headed over to the hospital for some lab work. We decided it was time to make sure nothing really serious was going on. So Cora had some blood drawn and had to take a urine sample. Again, she was super brave and after turning her head while the needle went in her skin, she looked back and watched the blood go into the little tubes.

On the way home from the hospital she said, "Today is the weirdest and best day ever! I got a numbing shot, stitches, my blood taken and I peed in a bucket!" She seriously is so positive and has a great outlook on life. I wish I could be more like her.



Day 5
Evening











Thursday, April 14th-



Day 6
Morning

Day 6 (4-14)
Morning

Cora woke up with hives on her belly, neck and face. Her back looks a little better though. Her legs are bruised all over but haven't been quite as bad today. Dr. Adams wanted his partner to see Cora too so this morning I made an appointment to see Dr. Colbert. He is the dermatologist that we usually see and who helps Silas with his arthritis medication. Dr. Colbert thinks that Cora has Henoch-Schonlein purpura which is one of the things that Dr. Adams talked to me about yesterday. It is treated the same way we have been treating her, with steroids, and it should go away over time. The only worry is that there is a small chance it can effect the kidneys. We went over the lab results from yesterday and there were some numbers that weren't normal. The doctor wasn't worried but wants us to come back to the office on Tuesday and then repeat the labs that day.

Writing this makes me tired. All of this fuss and worry is exhausting. I am mostly confident in the doctors and in the fact that they believe Cora is fine. Part of me wants to panic and is worried that she is most-definitely-not-OK.

And it is just the tip of the iceberg. Molly is actually doing so well with potty training (which I see as a tender mercy from a loving Father in Heaven) but I still have to make sure she is close to me and to a potty. She only had one accident today and it was when I wasn't paying attention to her after the boys were home from school. She is stubborn and independent which has helped because she wants to go potty on her own and wash her own hands, etc. but she also wants to go WHEN she is ready and I have to find every fiber of patience in my soul to nicely talk her out of having a fit. This worked all day until about 8pm when she was tired and screamed at me for 10 minutes straight. *Loved* that moment.

Silas hurt his foot badly playing racquetball yesterday morning so he is having a hard time walking and driving. Although it doesn't directly effect me like it effects him, I feel worried and I haven't had as much help when he's home that I normally would have. The last two nights he has been gone doing church duties which is normal and great...but it's just a stressful time for me and I feel a little alone.

Cleod has been really hard for me lately and I'm not sure what to do. I know I am strict with him and that he needs to be shown more love. I am not a lovey-dovey person. I show love by servicing my kids all day. I do their laundry and wash the dishes (two things that take most of my time right now). I plan for, purchase and prepare their meals. I make sure they have what they need for school and I help them with their schoolwork. I feel like I show them love through my actions but I am realizing more and more lately that sometimes others don't SEE or REALIZE all the effort and time and energy that you are putting in on their behalf. I wonder if all Cleod sees is the to-do list I have for him and for his siblings. Maybe he just sees me as the drill sergeant and not as the nurturer he needs. But he's the only one who seems genuinely annoyed every time I ask the kids to do their chores or practice their instrument or have a shower. Heaven forbid you have to clean your body! 

Maybe this is a test for me. Maybe it's all happening right now to see how I will handle trials. I think I am failing. I think that I am supposed to be using patience and it feels like it's gone..at least with Cleod. I feel like I should be a peacemaker but I'm not. I am a frustrated, loud, mama bear who wants to be listened to and shown a little respect. I know that sometimes being a mom is a thankless job and that I should be selfless and not worry about praise...but sometimes it seems like some gratitude from my children would go a long way.