Dec 7-9

Wednesday, December 7th-

Tonight our family (minus Molly who was at the Slade's hanging out with Ashlynn) went to the production of The Forgotten Carols. I took Cleod and Ryan a couple years ago and couldn't resist getting tickets again, even though they were $20 each. It was totally worth it! We enjoyed it and it really got me more into the Spirit of Christmas. 

As the music started Silas whispered to me that he didn't know the story at all, just the music. I hadn't realized this and it made me feel emotional and excited for him to see the play. And he did enjoy it!

I loved the music and the story and I really enjoy attending live performances. Every time a new song started Cora would say, "I know this song!" She was in awe every, single time! It was like a fun surprise every time. Cleod told me later that he felt the Spirit and Ryan didn't want it to end. Grant had a headache during the play so he was a little whiny, but I totally heard him singing along with the Three Kings song. Success!

Thursday, December 8th-

I've been struggling lately. I realized why yesterday thanks to talking it out with my friend Amie. I realized that some days (or several days) I feel empty, like my resources have been used up. This is a time I might normally turn to Silas for support. The problem is that with the holidays and the demands that makes on Silas as the Bishop (i.e. Tithing Settlement interviews, Christmas party planning, more welfare being distributed, etc.) he is probably running empty as well. So when I have hoped for him to do extra house stuff for me, like dishes or whatever, he hasn't. But it's not because he's mean or he doesn't love me. It's because his reserves are depleted at times as well. PLUS, we have been busier with kids stuff and have several more recitals and concerts.

With the simple realization of this idea of us both being "empty" I have felt lifted. I think I thought I was going into a depression and I was blaming my family members for not being more helpful. But we are all doing the best we can do. Most of the time we are fine, but some moments we are not. And that's OK.

I found a great quote the other day while reading an article. It says: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend."

I need more gratitude in the small moments of my life. I need to remember to be grateful in the hard moments.

A week or so ago, I took a screenshot of John 15:2. It just hit me that day. I feel like I'm being purged "that [I] may bring forth more fruit." At times that seems humbling and other times I am super frustrated. In fact, I have even questioned where the blessings are for the service we (mostly Silas) perform for the Lord. What a rude and immature question to place before the Lord. Of course there are blessings! I just wasn't seeing it through the hurt and the pain of that moment.

This evening helped lift me a little as well. Silas and I went to Rusty's for the Bank Christmas party and had a nice (free) meal. We also had a nice visit with Andy and Clarissa who we sat across.

After dinner I dropped Silas off at home and went a little late to book club at Sharon Thornock's house. We had read The Forgotten Carols book so I didn't want to miss it. Also, Sharon always has such a lovely, decorated home. She hosts book club in December every year and always serves brownies and peppermint ice cream. Yum! We had a lovely visit/discussion.

Friday, December 9th-

This month seems to be going by really quickly. We haven't been able to sing many Christmas songs or read Christmas stories, although we do have Christmas music on almost constantly.

I'm sure others have it worse but I feel like the Bishop’s family thing has hit me hard during the holidays. He has a lot more going on with his calling and we have a lot more going on in general so it feels like we haven't sat down and just talked for weeks!

Today we tried. We went out for lunch together but Molly was being whiny and then a guy Silas knew from college came in and they chatted for too long. Plus it wasn't private enough where we went to really have a conversation.

Megan and I took dinner to the Goldthorpe family tonight though. That was a good thing.

Oh, and Brett arranged for someone to come get the Volkswagen out of our garage! I've been waiting for that for so long. I'm really pleased about that! We have such great friends! It should be gone on Monday...